Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
dying
im freakin dying here. i feel like my mind is going to implode i cannot relax i cannot calm my nerves, every attempt seems to further fray them.
my work is spying on my facebook? and not telling me until its to their advantage fucking shit man fuck off. take care of it or dont bring it up fuck.
i love my boss and the work we do, but i cannot stand pretty much everyone else in the organization. is it weird that they are all woman? i dont think so.
its a testosterone vacuum in there i can't take it anymore.
my bosses wife is checking up on me all the time, fussing around and making sure im working? jesus whats next fucking shit, its not i like i havent been working for you the past 3 years. wtf
be straitforward with your shit goddamn. dont be passive aggressive get it out there fast and talk about it. dont let it simmer.
i like my work, but its like since i've used some of my sick time im the fucking devil. fuck that i still have more than a weeks worht of sick time, if i shouldnt use it dont fucking give it to me. i work with snot nosed shit eaters all day and im supposed to never get sick? why am i disproportionally taking mroe sick days, 5 times more than everyone else? that seems nuts. ill tell you one thing i need a fucking break. im so glad imgoing to be gone when the shit storm his in august godamn. its fucking nuts the way this shit runs.
if you want me to have more billable hours then schedule me more, it makes me fell like shit. am i supposed to go out and recruit families huh? if so maybe that should be my job instead of working with kids, fuck.
Monday, July 20, 2009
im falling apart
im braking down and i think i know it but...really i dont know the full extent so im a little worried. I cant sleep well, cant eat well, cant study enough, cant work enuff i guess...they will just work me until i fucking drop. and i did, dropped hard and could barely get back up to see an old friend.
but man was it good to see them, tom arsenault n taylor mathis. good buds and it was just like old times, instantly. such a weird feeling, i hadn't seen tom in like 8 years and it was like nothing to chill with him again. and the conversations were so good, for some reason that experience in Brazil brought us so close together. even when we only knew each other for less than a year, that year is just so pivotal and stands out. i wish i'd gotten over to the pool party that would have been nice to see dudy and the girls and relax, but man i got homework done so i have to be happy cause that would have sucked to have to still do all that. but man i would have liked to see that dudy for sure. any girl attention right about now is so desperatly wanted that i can make it work whoever it is. but really not with anyone i do think dudy has something that im interested in, i just wish she wasnt so self destructive sometimes. its hard to watch, and i would like to help but i havent found a good way to. oh well its going to be weird w her anyhow just take it easy and take care of everyone. more later back to effin work.
but man was it good to see them, tom arsenault n taylor mathis. good buds and it was just like old times, instantly. such a weird feeling, i hadn't seen tom in like 8 years and it was like nothing to chill with him again. and the conversations were so good, for some reason that experience in Brazil brought us so close together. even when we only knew each other for less than a year, that year is just so pivotal and stands out. i wish i'd gotten over to the pool party that would have been nice to see dudy and the girls and relax, but man i got homework done so i have to be happy cause that would have sucked to have to still do all that. but man i would have liked to see that dudy for sure. any girl attention right about now is so desperatly wanted that i can make it work whoever it is. but really not with anyone i do think dudy has something that im interested in, i just wish she wasnt so self destructive sometimes. its hard to watch, and i would like to help but i havent found a good way to. oh well its going to be weird w her anyhow just take it easy and take care of everyone. more later back to effin work.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
1;00am
she sat down next to me.
"my boyfriend left me here"
...
didnt know what to say.
made small shit.
rode the elevator up.
pat on the chest, look in the eyes.
"my boyfriend left me here"
...
didnt know what to say.
made small shit.
rode the elevator up.
pat on the chest, look in the eyes.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Round the world in 4 stops...in my brain
twopointfive weeks to get from SF to india to australia/NZ to Paris to NY
what a dream c'mon dream c'mon dream c'mon dream
now how do i find money for all this gloriusness
new post:
u ever fell... trapped in your own body watching as someone plays with your body makes u do things, not horrible just probably what you wouldnt think you would really normally do and since your thinking about it weirdly while its usually happening it seems like its just not you whos makin it happen.
how about if that other someone is other'S' uh oh
now its a few of us sittin around bs'n and were like no its your turn to go take care of it
no its your turn
and we take turns being in control of me, but in an interesting way im only one of the players at the table.
what a dream c'mon dream c'mon dream c'mon dream
now how do i find money for all this gloriusness
new post:
u ever fell... trapped in your own body watching as someone plays with your body makes u do things, not horrible just probably what you wouldnt think you would really normally do and since your thinking about it weirdly while its usually happening it seems like its just not you whos makin it happen.
how about if that other someone is other'S' uh oh
now its a few of us sittin around bs'n and were like no its your turn to go take care of it
no its your turn
and we take turns being in control of me, but in an interesting way im only one of the players at the table.
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