im falling apart

im braking down and i think i know it but...really i dont know the full extent so im a little worried. I cant sleep well, cant eat well, cant study enough, cant work enuff i guess...they will just work me until i fucking drop. and i did, dropped hard and could barely get back up to see an old friend.

but man was it good to see them, tom arsenault n taylor mathis. good buds and it was just like old times, instantly. such a weird feeling, i hadn't seen tom in like 8 years and it was like nothing to chill with him again. and the conversations were so good, for some reason that experience in Brazil brought us so close together. even when we only knew each other for less than a year, that year is just so pivotal and stands out. i wish i'd gotten over to the pool party that would have been nice to see dudy and the girls and relax, but man i got homework done so i have to be happy cause that would have sucked to have to still do all that. but man i would have liked to see that dudy for sure. any girl attention right about now is so desperatly wanted that i can make it work whoever it is. but really not with anyone i do think dudy has something that im interested in, i just wish she wasnt so self destructive sometimes. its hard to watch, and i would like to help but i havent found a good way to. oh well its going to be weird w her anyhow just take it easy and take care of everyone. more later back to effin work.